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Motorcycle customization is one of those things that most people are probably going to have a strong opinion on. Some folks will look at a highly customized cruiser and see a beautiful work of art, while others may see the same thing as too loud and too flashy. Since the NFL is no stranger to gaudy presentation and displays, we figured the weekend before the Super Bowl would be a great time to look at some of the more memorable NFL-themed motorcycle designs that we could find. There’s even a game prediction based on each team motorcycle!

The Good

Not all NFL motorcycles are over-the-top displays of insane fandom. Some actually still function and have subtlety. We know being subtle has never been a strong point for the NFL, so we applaud these fans for keeping it real.

This Raiders bike is the perfect example of subtle. It’s a Ural, so it’s not too flashy and comes with that matching color scheme. A simple logo on this bike is all it needs, the bike speaks for itself. It’s hardly a Raiders theme though –remove the logo and there would be no way to tell.

Same goes for this Raiders Harley-Davidson. Not too over the top, looks like a good everyday ride. The color scheme is dedicated to Raiders colors, which already lend themselves to motorcycles.

How Raiders fans got the memo that subtlety would look good remains a mystery.

 

Motowhips built up this Miami Dolphins-themed Honda CRF250R. It’s is a great example of style and functionality. We also like it because it’s the only dirt bike we could find. The sweet matching helmet is a nice touch.

There are quite a few Harley-Davidsons with custom team paint jobs. Nothing wrong with that. They look great and still have a classic, American feel, even if your team name is kind of weird in 2016.

Another classic, but can it handle the frozen tundra of Lambeau field?

The Bad(Ass)

Paint jobs aside, these sportbikes not only look badass, but probably haul ass. Most likely fun to ride, but not what you want to see your players on if you’re a head coach. Just ask Mike Tomlin.

Speaking of Big Ben, this Steelers-themed bike with matching helmets from xtremekreations.com is pretty tight (they have done a bunch of sports themed bikes that are in this category, so check them out). We’re based in Rhode Island, so we’re supposed to at least dislike all things Pittsburgh — but, man, there’s something about those colors we really like.

Same goes for this Tennessee Titans sportbike, also from xtremekreations.com. This thing looks like it would definitely not come up a yard short when it matters most.

Go ahead, make your jokes about the tires looking a little flat, or the quality of the photo being surprisingly bad considering how many cameras the Patriots have. We’ll wait, because deep down, you may not like this bike, but you gotta at least respect its ability to consistently win races.

Spikes and curves together is kind of a design taboo, but something about it works here. Plus, it looks super fun to ride, and if HTTR is your mantra this would be awesome.

The Ugly

We’re nitpicking on some of these, but don’t let that take away from the craftsmanship. Plus, sometimes a weird choice might seem like a good idea at the time. Just ask Chuck Pagano.

This Colts-themed machine starts off as a sportbike, then kind of morphs into a medieval weapon of some sort. Smooth, then sharp, just like Andrew Luck’s beard. The main design issue here is the way this angle makes the horse look like an angry unicorn. Can not unsee.

This bike easily could have gone into the badass category. It’s certainly not the craziest thing to come out of New Orleans and is probably super fast on a drag track. But, it breaks a cardinal design rule: No more than two fonts at a time. Are we nitpicking? Yes, and as you can tell this list is super scientific.

Should your bike have a customized tank in the shape of a logo? Maybe, but make that the focal point. There’s so much color on this that it distracts from what could have been a classic-looking chopper. Imagine this bike with basic red-and-white throwback colors with the same tank. Then again, OCC isn’t in the business of being subtle.

Should your mascot/logo even be an actual part of the motorcycle? It’s a tough call. This Seahawks motorcycle is the best example we could find, but there’s something weird about the neon green in the color scheme. Either way, it probably runs great, but we’ll pass on this one.

Gaudy tank design? Check. Tons of leather? Check. Chrome everywhere? Check. Why? Because Texas, that’s why.

So who is going to win the Super Bowl?

The best-looking Denver Broncos motorcycle we could find came from Rocky Mountain Harley-Davidson of Denver. Of course it has Peyton Manning’s number on it, and like Manning, it’s very traditional. This one lands squarely in the ‘good’ category. As an added bonus, did you see the extra luggage space? ♫Lots of room for chicken parms

This dragstrip-ready Carolina Panthers motorcycle is 100% badass. Note the absence of spikes conflicting with this aero design and the modest swingarm extension. This bike might have actually seen track time. It probably handles as well if not better as the Broncos Harley, and it’s undoubtedly faster. The paint design is a little busy, but those surface issues aren’t going to hinder overall performance. Because of this arbitrary comparison, our official Super Bowl prediction is Panthers 34, Broncos 24.

0 thoughts on “NFL Motorcycles, the Good, The Bad(Ass), & The Ugly

  1. First bike listed isn’t made in America, it’s a Ural.

    1. Touche! Not sure how that slipped by us.

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